In which bad things happen to good Lindas

I'm starting to think that I was actually, like, bullied at work yesterday. Where the definition of bullied is a big loud guy on the phone who is so angry with not being allowed to do what he wants that he threatens you. So you cave in and end up making a mistake. You call the New Guy and ask him to bend the rules for the Bully just to shut him up. And the New Guy does it, because he trusts you.

And then you realise that you fucked up and go explain the situation to your boss.

But at least she's supportive. "You were partly responsible for the situation, Linda. You should ring the New Guy and try to put it right."

So, you do. You ring the New Guy and tell him that you made a mistake. You don't hear any more from anyone, but the Bully rings you three times (you don't answer the phone) and emails twice before you slink home at five.

Anyway, we had a meeting about it this afternoon, without the Bully. The New Guy was very supportive. And quite angry at the Bully. And quite willing to support me putting in a grievance. (Which I won't do, as I don't think it's that serious.) The New Guy's boss was present, and also willing to support a grievance, as he too has extensive experience with the Bully's tactics.

My boss had moved on to being amused at how typical the Bully's behaviour was of him. And expounding at length at how reprehensible it is that no one's ever actually stood up to him.

(Man, I'm cranky about her reaction. It was a crappy situation, and my boss did nothing to make it any better. It was the New Guy who arranged today's meeting. My boss was over it.)

What the Bully actually said was at the end of a phone call that I made to him, about something entirely unrelated. He suddenly went off on a tangent about how he hadn't been able to bully the New Guy into giving him permission to make changes willy-nilly. The threatening was:

Bully: This change needs to be made! [Important people] are in *love* with this change. [They] specifically asked for it to be made! By tomorrow! Who should I speak to to make this happen?
Me: I can make the change, but as I mentioned before, you need to speak to the New Guy. He's the [responsible person].
Bully: I have spoken to him. I called him. Twice! I sent an email. Did you see the email?
Me: Yes, I saw it, but...
Bully: You know what? I wash my hands of it, Linda. And let me tell you that the fur is going to fly about this. And you know what? When it does, I'm going to make sure that everyone knows what happened.

A bit more context: the Bully is seriously actually six foot three. He's ex-army. He is way-way-way further up the ladder than me, and often claims to have the ear of some very important people. He loves to name drop. This is not the first time he's tried to shout me down, either. In the past, it's always been in a room full of people even higher than him who were 100% unwilling to put up with his crap. I hate it when he wins.

So, I caved, and rang the New Guy and got him to give me permission to give the Bully what he wanted. Fortunately, the Bully's also thick as a fucking plank and didn't actually follow my instructions, so his change was not made.

The New Guy rang the Bully this morning (after hearing about what he did to me yesterday) and asked a series of questions including:

Is it an urgent change? No. [*rage*. He insisted that it was to me the day before.]
When does it need to be made? Any time in the next few weeks.

So, the outcome is that the New Guy is deeply embarrassed about this -- I have a lot of sympathy for his position -- and angry about it. My boss thinks that I should reiterate our corporate values to the Bully next time he tries this sort of thing. (Ahh, yeah, sure. That sounds doable...) And, in the end the Bully didn't and won't get his way. Which is good.

And me? I'm venting on the Young Person's Interweb. Heh.

One more tiny story about how frustrating I find it to work with my boss.

[The day before I sat my exam.]
Me: [blah blah reporting on progress blah] Oh, and I just did one of the practice exams and got 100% for it.
Her: [after a pause, in a serious voice] You really do underestimate yourself, you know.
Me: [struggling gamely on, cheerily] That doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Her: [still serious] No, but you can take it too far.

So, yes. Having to look further for my validation at work these days. To, you know, work around my underestimation problem. *grin*. Luckily I have BettyBetty for immediate validation. "God, she's crap," says BettyBetty. And so say all of us. 8)