My mum called this morning, and amongst the things I mentioned was that Emma (Chris's girlfriend) just left after visiting for the weekend.
Me: Which was nice for Chris. He's been a bit sad, missing her.
Mum: Oh. Well. I think I owe Chris an apology.
Me: You do?
Mum: Well, I always thought he was ... gay.
Me: [amused pause] He did go out with me, Mum.
Mum: Yes, but.
Me: But?
Mum: I thought that was, you know. Platonic.
Me: Sorry to break it to you, mum, but no.
Mum: Oh. Well. You know, he's very quiet.
Tee hee. That's why some people call her Wonky Wah.
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