All your House are belong to me

I've recently started downloading and watching a show called House M.D. It's a medical show (bad), but it has Hugh Laurie as the eponymous House (good!). Hugh Laurie has an American accent (bad), but also stubble (good!). The show can be a little mawkish in an American way (bad), but is usually very snarky (good!). It's got Robert Sean Leonard who was good in Dead Poet's but nothing else, ever (bad). His character is House's best (only?) friend and is surprisingly layered (good!).

Overall, I'm thinking the good! outweighs the bad, but your mileage is your concern. For a limited time only, I'm going to send the fifteen episodes so far on dvd to anyone who asks.

This is because sending things to Meagan has really revived in me the pure joy of pimping. "Pimping" is the technical term for the jumping-up-and-down joy of sending cool things to cool people who appreciate them (contrast with giving shows to erm, well, you know who you are...). Meagan not only watches things, but she gives feedback! She asks for more! It's like the good old days of sending things to my online (imaginary) friends and then chatting with them about it. When it works out well, pimping is just so cool.

While Lost and Superboy are on hiatus, it's nice to have something to fill the gap. I mean, aside from anime. My weekly anime list is only: Bleach, Gankutsuou, Kyou kara Maou, One Piece and Sukisyo. And Gundam Seed Destiny. And Monster. (And the rest... *facepalm*)

[eta: for some reason, blogger didn't publish this when I emailed it... eeta: stupid formatting, grumble grumble]

Angry angry Emily

Although the camera isn't very high quality, my new mobile does have a movie function, which means it can record sound. Fun!

I've told people about some of the noises that Emily makes and I'm not sure that y'all believed me. So here's the evidence that she is in fact in great danger of choking on her own rage: 23 seconds (368k) of Emily eating and growling.

Link will only work for a week. (In the second half you can hear her wander away, still growling. So cute!)

Now I've just got to try to capture the "I'M SO UNHAPPY I'M GOING TO HOWL LIKE THIS UNTIL MY LUNGS BREAK!!1!" noise. Needs to be heard to be believed, especially as she does it when there is nothing wrong with her. Sigh. I love cats. Don't you love cats? Cats are fun.

Apples vs. Oranges

I've been really busy lately. The kind of busy where work is chewing
up my brain.

I was talking to Fiona about this the other day -- the difference
between working, and working hard. In the last few months of working
at my previous job I rarely felt that it was actually an intellectual
challenge, or even an intellectual exercise. I'd gone from having a
great deal of responsibility for one project -- I didn't just manage
the finances, but actually led the development and testing teams -- to
partial responsibility for three projects, two of which were just
barely ticking along. As kindly uncle Bilbo might say: like butter
scraped over too much bread.

So I was working, but I was rarely working hard. Also, I had good
reason to think that I was very good at my job so I didn't have much
to prove. All this has changed.

At my new job, I'm working hard. I'm learning a lot. I'm solving hard
problems. And, as programmers do, I tend to get caught up in it. Just
adding one more feature, or tweaking the interface a little bit, or
extending the scope... And then suddenly it's 6.30 and kind of cold.
And quiet.

Well, it's quiet all the time, really. I'm still in exile which means
that some days I don't get to see any of the other people that I'm
working "with".

But when I do see them, they seem quite pleased with me. And not just
with the actual SharePoint stuff that I was hired to do, but with my
strategic input. At the rare meetings that I get escorted to, I've
started sort of cautiously suggesting some strategic things,
especially around IT project management. The reception so far has
been, "What a good idea! We must get you talking to [the expert hired
to deal with this issue]." The weird thing is that my opinion was
never sought or valued at my last job which means either that they
handled things better, or they under-valued me. I tend to think it's a
little of both.

It was a much larger IT operation, and there were a lot more silos. By
this I mean that the various types of IT: infrastructure, operating
systems, projects and so on were managed by separate groups, and
rarely communicated except at the very top and the very bottom. (Where
I was...) There wasn't a single person (the Chief Information Officer
here at New Job) who was responsible across the board for IT stuff. I
kind of like the flatter and more accountable style of IT management
here. Which is not to say that the lack of appreciation of IT at an
enterprise level isn't a little... worrying. (Nobody said cowboy. Did
you hear anyone say cowboy?) But hey, it gives me a chance to make
what seem to me very obvious suggestions which are received as works
of genius.

Too many cats

With Xopher off on his free and easy journey of love and family, I'm
now chief pat giver for Emily and Manson and Printy. I'm not at all
sure that I'm up to the job.

Each of them has unique needs: Emily requires eight to ten hours a day
of human contact and a dedicated team to clean up after her; Manson
needs someone to sit on and love; Printy needs time to realise that
there aren't any other cats around and so she can come get pats.

Since I've been leaving for work earlier than ever before, and usually
arriving home after seven, they're just not happy. Emily's almost
complete blindness means that she needs to be not only patted, but
talked to (where upon she'll walk into me, then fall over patting
herself on whatever part of me she walked in to), and she does not
leave Xopher's room except to eat. So when I go in to talk to her and
give her some pats to make up for the fact that Xopher's not home,
within about five minutes Manson will be sitting in the doorway
yowling for pats. If I ignore him he'll come into the room, which
drives Emily into paroxysms of rage and growling and that's not a good
thing. So I usually go to pat him. But then I smell like him, so when
I come back to see Emily again, she chokes on her hatred of all things
Manson anyway. (To be fair, she is very old and quite tiny and she
can't see, so smelling The Enemy is the only way she knows they're
there, and I don't blame her for being a little tense about it.)

Because Xopher is not home, the house is locked up a lot more, and
Manson hates this. He's always huffily running inside or outside
whenever the doors are open. This morning when I let him in, he was so
lonely that he followed me around as I got dressed. I didn't really
have time to give him the dedicated pats he deserved, so he attacked
my shoelaces and then looked forlorn and annoyed when I left.

Printy has taken to sleeping on a folded up quilt in my wardrobe for
about 20 hours a day. She'll happily accept pats if I go in to pat
her, but her fear of being beaten up by Manson means that she doesn't
sleep on my bed any more, as she did when Jimbo was living here
(because Manson slept on Jimbo's bed then). Not that Manson sleeps on
my bed much, because he's usually outside...

I've tried sleeping in Xopher's room to see if that will keep Emily
from waking me at two hourly intervals with her howling (not that I do
anything when I wake up, but still, Not Enough Sleep, Dammit). But if
I'm sleeping in there, I'm still woken up by her, either howling or
doing something unspeakably smelly in the middle of the night. (How?
How can one tiny cat generate so much evil smell? She's got Mad Ponk
Skillz, I tell you.)

I also have this overcompensation thing going on, which means that I'm
spending a lot of time when I'm home doing research on work stuff. And
not patting the cats.

Win!

After some fraznarfing* and nundle-wunking** about the new sound card (purchased because it looked like the on-board one was, you know, fucked) I now have sound on the PC! Whoot! Just in time to get some sleep.

Also: I have a new mobile phone. *looks shifty*. I won't promise to answer it unless you promise not to ring. It has a camera and a colour screen and wank wank wank.

I also bought a Blue-tooth adapter majigger, which connects my Mac with my phone. (First time, no problems... No fraznarfing* with a Mac, by gum.) This means that I didn't have to type in all your phone numbers again, because they were transmitted from my computer's address book via tiny address pigeons through the aether to the phone. Or something.

I may have your number, but I'm not making any promises to ring you either, because, er. Good lord, is that the time? Zzzz.

* Fraznarf (IT, vb.) To discover that something that should be Plug and Play just isn't.
** Nundle-wunk (IT, vb.) To cynically resign oneself to continual fraznarfing.

A much better day

The first two days of my new job were fairly hellish. I was quite intimidated by the reality of a whole bunch of new people (well, men) who kept warning me about the delicate political situation. And being IT men they're also fairly objective oriented, and not big on feedback, so I couldn't really tell if I was doing what they expected me to do, or even whether or not I could do what they expected me to. And new job + PMT = exhausted and cranky Linda. (Sorry, Xopher!)

Today was much better. It started well with a morning tea where I found someone else I knew. Not that having Dave there hasn't been very nice; he occasionally drops past my desk-in-exile. Over timtams, I talked to my new boss (yeah, already) about what he expected from me. When I explained my current strategy, he and his boss were all smiles, which is good.

Then later I had a meeting that opened with everyone praising my discussion paper, which I always like, and then discussing my sound plans and more praise, so I was pretty much zooming. Then I discover that the one woman I've met who seems both highly intelligent and engaged in my project -- I'd been told three times separately that it would be essential to develop a rapport with her -- turns out to speak some Japanese too. Bliss bliss bliss.

It was so funny. Someone else spoke some Italian (which she also speaks). I denied all understanding, explaining that I only spoke Japanese. She bounced and said, "Watashi mo!" (Me too!) and then we both said, "Sugoi!" (Cool!) and we both jumped up and down clapping hands and promising to be bestest friends for ever. (At least that's how I remember it. I was pretty happy by then.)

And I've decided that working in the city is just the coolest thing. I went to an Asian grocery store today! There's a choice of sushi stores! There's a shop that sells tea! I can eat my lunch outside sitting on the grass with a whole bunch of other people! Yay!

So cheered was I by the whole day that I stopped in at the National Library on the way home and did some research into my family tree. Genealogy is a lot like collecting. And I like collecting things. So far I'm up to my mother's mother's mother's mother's mother (or GGG Grandmother). Research on my dad's side isn't going so well, since it's stalled at my grandfather who was born in Scotland. But still. Fun.

PS. Glad to hear you liked it, Dimensioneer. 8)

へたのよこずきですよ

前週オフィスでパソコンの上で標語が二枚ありました。さるも木からおちる。その仕事でさるがたくさんいました。そうして、ぼくらはいつでもさけんでる。これは鋼の鎌金術師の音楽からです。
今日は新しい標語がほしいんです。でもわからないです。

First day frazzle

As Fiona pointed out in an email: Yay! Yay! Huzzah! Yikes, etc.
The new organisation is quite interesting. Much blokier than the old one. More scope for doing whatever the hell I want. I'm stuck in an unsecure wing of the building because my clearance hasn't come through yet, but that's okay because I have a corner office with pretty much two walls of glass and noone else around.

Working in town is weird. There are shops everywhere. Good thing I don't have any money.

Very tired now. Eight hours is a long time.

And congratulations to ted and Sumie-san. Apparently, it's a girl.

Best second hand book purchase. Ever.

"Medical Hypnotism and Suggestion" by Alexr. Verner, F.A.I.P.

This is such a cool little pamphlet. I'm guessing at the year, because it doesn't have an ISBN or even a publisher listed, but I think it's around 1910. There are a bunch of things that rock about this book, but I'm going to start by quoting the whole of chapter five, because it's just that funny.

CHAPTER V
HOW TO PUT A MAN IN A TRANCE

To put a man in a trance for a week is a very remarkable thing, but it can be accomplished by getting a good subject. It is the best to find a man that is strong, one that has a good share of the motive and vital temperaments, so that he will be able to endure the ordeal without suffering a great deal. You must hypnotize the subject frequently to get him under control, then practice keeping him in the hypnotic state for a few hours, then a day, after that two days. You must suggest to him that he will not awake until you tell him.

There are a few secrets in connection with this performance, viz.:-Keep the patient warm, avoid draughts, let him lie in a comfortable position, turn him over about twice a day. Before commencing, the subject must be a state of good health; he must walk a few miles two days before he is put in the trance, and he must take two ounces of Epsom salts, so as to have a good purging. The Epsom salts have a constipating effect on the bowels after they have acted, and therefore he will not want to move the bowels while he is in the trance. (A person with weak bowels will not do for this test.)



Hypnotize the subject, put him to sleep (the deep sleep), and suggest to him that he will not awake until you tell him.

HOW TO AWAKEN THE SUBJECT
To awaken the subject, make long upward passes and throw the magnetism off, blow your breath in his face, slap the palms of his hands, and speak to him in a loud voice, saying "You are all right, you are all right." The subject or patient will then begin to come round. Do not let anyone touch him, because it crosses the magnetism and retards the awakening process.

* * *

You can see why I wanted to quote the whole thing. Apart from the picture of you showing off your MAN IN A TRANCE in his comfortable coffin to your well-heeled friend, probably my favourite bit is the confusion between "performance" and "test", and between "subject" and "patient". In the last paragraph, even the author is unclear which the victim is.

Other points for discussion: Why, oh god, why? Explain how members of the medical profession who are very jealous may also cross the magnetism and retard the waking process. How many MEN IN A TRANCE do you think it took to discover that the subject/patient/victim must walk a few miles two days before? In modern days, a better greeting for your previously comatose victim might be "You will not sue, you will not sue." Would you sue? Can I hypnotize you now? Are you feeling sleepy?

More excerpts coming soon:

• excellent references to phrenology,
• Alfred Russel Wallace: the other thing he was famous for,
• the best product placement ever -- an ad for the book you're reading, in the book you're reading, and
• other ads for books like "THE SOLAR PLEXUS Or Abdominal Brain" by Theron Q. Dumont.

Update, update, update...

After receiving dire threats about evil haxx0rs, I was nervous about
putting blackpig (the name seems to be sticking, because noone but me
knows how to spell or say my preferred name, Saagatanasu*) on the
Young Person's Interweb. Xopher was not willing to wait!

Using our combined powers of Credit Card and Typing, together we
purchased Norton Internet Security 2005. After downloading the
installer and running it, blackpig began a fun game called Let's See
How Many Times the User Can Be Bothered Checking for Updates.

There were no less that five (5) update and restart cycles required by
blackpig last night, including one from Microsoft. Whoo! I've become
quite fatalistic about them though. On a Mac, I'm much more willing to
critically evaluate updates (even automatic updates) because I believe
(perhaps erroneously) that I know better. For blackpig, I've become a
slave to the Recommended radio button. Do you want to check for
updates now? OK! Do you want to restart your machine now? OK!

And I don't know if it's because Symantec (makers of Norton Internet
Restarter) were in the middle of an update or what, but the only
reason it stopped at five updates is that I stopped checking. Luckily,
it also stopped asking me to update. But even without being prompted,
I was curious enough (or perverse enough) to want to see the "No
updates are available" message. But somehow that just didn't happen.

It was downloading at least 600k of "Internet Security URLs" each
time. I must investigate how to get it to quit doin' that, because I
don't have the space on disk (or the patience) to download megabytes
of URLs that I suspect are completely useless because there is no
point NIS storing information about sites that I would never visit
because I am not stupid. Even worse, these URLs may be pr0n sites,
which NIS is downloading in case I ever switch "Parental Control" on.
Bwahahaha! As if!

* Saagatanasu is the black winged-dog demon from Yami no Matsuei. He
has an elaborate title (according to one translation he's called the
Demon World's Grand Duke Dragon Cavalry Lord Ashitarote's servant,
Brigade Leader Saagatanasu) and is a representative of an evil empire
sent to earth. His signature move is to convince his victims to kill
themselves.